Prayer shawls with Anita
Barbara: Hi everyone. And welcome to 40 minutes of faith. My name is Barbara Cox and I host this weekly podcast to explore God's word and our relationship with God. Today's guest is Anita Stolle. I met Anita at the Lutheran church in Massachusetts, where I was a member before moving to Germany. Anita grew up in Wisconsin and was raised in a Lutheran church, but her mother would take her to visit other denominations and encouraged Anita to be respectful of other faiths.
Anita met her husband when they were both students at the university of Wisconsin. They moved three times for his jobs to Michigan, Connecticut, and now Massachusetts, Anita worked as a pharmacist in retail and in hospitals. Anita's dream is that her children and grandchildren can achieve their dreams.
She would love to be able to knit for her entire life. Welcome, Anita, how are things in Massachusetts for you all these days?
Anita: They're beautiful and Massachusetts right now. We have no snow right now.
Barbara: Great. Today's Bible verse is from the book of Psalms, which is in the middle of your Bible. I'm going to read Psalm 139 verse 13, “for you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.” Anita, could you share with us why this is one of your favorite Bible verses?
Anita: Because I love that God knitted us together. And it's almost like when you really knit or crochet stitch by stitch and they all hold each other together.
Barbara: Every part of us is just so miraculously formed and God knit us together and each little part comes together right.
Anita: and each part holds the other part together.
Barbara: I get a sense of love from that verse, imagining that God built me and all of us in a thoughtful way and imaginative, too. Throughout this podcast, we'll be showing different prayer shawls through the video component, viewable on YouTube and on the podcast website, which is 40 minutes of faith.com.
I want to show you the first prayer shawl that I received, which was from St. Peter's Episcopal church in Salem, Massachusetts, before my husband deployed. And I know that in a few minutes, Anita is going to have a lot of prayer shawls to show us as well. Anita, I've noticed that there are different ways to pray for people and to show people God's love.
I sure felt God's love and support when the people gave me this prayer shawl, before my husband deployed. Some people are able to read prayers out loud in church while other people pray while knitting or crocheting. When did you start making prayer shawls, and is there a prayer that you or your group say before you start to knit?
Anita: I started making prayer shawls when we moved to Connecticut and I met a woman who introduced me to prayer shawls. She was making them for her church. And she needed help joining the yarn. And so that's how I got introduced. And then the church we were going to in Connecticut did have a prayer shawl group.
And so I joined that group and yes, we pray over the shawls. We meet once a month here at Christ the King. So people bring their work. And we put our work in the middle of us and we all put our hands on it and pray over the shawls that we're working on. Sometimes people know who the shawl is for. It is easier to pray for that person, but sometimes you pray with your pattern work, a repeat of three stitches. You could pray in the name of the father, son and Holy ghost, or you could put a Bible verse to your pattern. So it depends- sometimes you know, who you're making the shawl for. And sometimes you do not.
Barbara: You might be thinking about a particular Bible verse as you're knitting that shawl for a particular person or really for anyone.
Anita: they don't have to be knitted or crocheted. They can be sewn. They can be fleeced. I mean, you can make your Shawl in any number of ways.
They can be small. They can be big. They can be very small that they just fit in somebody's pocket- say that the person doesn't want to wear a shawl all the time, but they'd like something in their pocket to remind them.
Barbara: amazing. I love that. I had never heard that before.
Anita: Yes. They're called pocket shawls and there are pocket sized.
Barbara: Anita, I'm so glad you're in the church right now. Would you like to show us one of the pews with shawls on them?
Anita: Yes. So sometimes we make shawls for new mothers or for baptisms. So this would be one that I would say for a new mother or a baptism, sometimes they like them if they're nursing the baby.
Barbara: That is beautiful.
Anita: Shawls can come in any shape or size. This one happens to be a triangle and it can be worn like the one I have with like a collar or it can be worn over the shoulder.
So this one would be for a new baby and it would be great for a baptismal Shawl because it's white. Sometimes we use the church colors.
This is another triangular shawl and it has tassels. Well, there's a Bible verse about tassels.*
Anita: Sometimes shawls are long and narrow. And this one definitely has a three stitch repeat. So this is one where “in the name of the father, son and Holy ghost” would work very well while you're working.
Anita: Sometimes when you're working on triangular shawl you start from the point and work wider, or sometimes they start on the long end and get narrower. This is a baby one and we put ribbon through the edges.
Barbara: I can see it looks like there's almost small squares inside the square shape of the shawl.
Anita: yes.
Barbara: Amazing. You really know what you're talking about, Anita. I'm not too good with with thread or yarn and cross-stitch.
Anita: you would still have a place in our prayer shawl ministry, because we still need people who do delivery of Shawls. We need cards- we'd put a card with each Shawl. I have different cards for when people are sick, for baptism, and here at Christ the King we send shawls to new freshmen in college when they're away from home. So that's something we happen to do here, but people tend to think shawls are only for somebody who is sick.
Barbara: Right. And then this is the one I got from you from Christ the King, before we moved to Germany. So we were leaving Massachusetts and we didn't know if we would be returning back to Massachusetts. So that was a great comfort as well. I really appreciate you saying that it's for many different life circumstances,
Anita: right. And one of the things that I have to remember is a lot of us are women and we have to remember that some of these shawls go to males. So we need some darker colors sometimes. And sometimes that's not our first choice.
Barbara: I appreciate that you said there's different skills. I don't know how to knit, but I can do paper crafts. And it looks like the cards that you have, the way you described it, it sounds like they're different. Each one may be an appropriate prayer for the situation say for a baptism or a college student.
Anita: right. Or we can make individual cards, you know, if it happens to be your best friend that's in need of a shawl, your card would reflect that.
Barbara: wonderful. And then driving as well. You probably do some of that. And then some people don't drive. So it sounds like there's a lot of different types of support that can come together for this ministry. Even if you don't think of yourself as a handy knitter or crocheter or sewer.
Anita: Correct. We’ve had requests, too, come in from outside our congregation. Like, could you mail me a shawl? And we have accommodated that, too. Not every church can accommodate that, but here at Christ the King, we've been able to do that.
Barbara: That's wonderful. So you've described a couple of different ways of doing a prayer shawl ministry. Have you heard of any other unique ideas, perhaps from other places just around the country or around the world? It sounds like there's really an unlimited number of ways that you can do this.
Anita: Yes. There are unlimited number of ways and every church does it different. Every group does it different. I mean, you don't necessarily have to be a church group to do prayer shawls.
Barbara: So pretty much anyone, you don't have to be formally part of a specific congregation.
Anita: correct. And to honor the prayer shawl ministry, there are no charges involved. These are not something that could be sold.
They're made with love and given with love. And all the members of my group supply their own yarn and pattern. We have some patterns that are free, but sometimes they purchase a pattern to use.
Barbara: Wow. I hadn't thought of the behind the scenes things like that because you go to a craft fair and you see knitted things for sale, but this is something that's really special. This is a ministry. And as far as I'm concerned, you're creating Holy gifts for people.
Anita: Thank you.
Barbara: I saw earlier you have some magazines. Are those available to the general public to order or to take a look at online?
Anita: these books are available online. Janet Bristow and Victoria Galo are the originators of prayer shawls. They were in Hartford, Connecticut when they started this ministry in the seminary.
And so they've written a couple of books and they have prayer ideas, ideas for what to put on cards, prayers to say. So they have one that's knitted. They have one that is crocheted, and they also have a journal. So you can keep track of the shawls you make in this journal.
Barbara: That's a good idea.
Anita: I had a form for my people to fill out about the shawl that they had made, why they chose the colors, why they chose the pattern, maybe what prayer they used while they were making it. And I kept a file about the different shawls with a picture in the church office. And I did keep another list of who received a Shawl so that somebody wouldn't receive a duplicate shawl. Not that somebody couldn't get two shawls, of course, but we just tried to keep track here.
Barbara: Then it might be nice, a different shape, a different color. Some people have chronic health situations, or even how did I end up with three from three different ones. I received this shawl from my school, Wartburg theological seminary, after my mother died. And I wasn't expecting it at all. I couldn't believe it.
I just got a box in the mail from them and I thought, wow, that's so precious. It never occurred to me that my school would send me a prayer shawl. So I was very grateful for that. So you have the gift of administration. I take it too, because sometimes we think of sort of right brain or left brain people, and some people are good at crafts and some people are not, and that's great to keep track of things too.
Did you have any guidance on how to start a ministry or did you always join groups that were already established?
Anita: at first I joined a group that was already established when we were in Connecticut, but when I moved here, this church did not have a prayer shawl ministry. And I didn't have a knitting group that I had found here.
And I really enjoyed knitting and working in a group. So I decided to start a prayer shawl ministry here. I had all the anxiety that everybody has when they start a new project. How will this work out? Will anybody join? And I can't tell you the overwhelming support I've received here in starting this ministry.
Barbara: That's really encouraging to hear because somebody listening might think, how am I going to do something like this? And it sounds like you were nervous and then people were so in favor of it. And you have a consistent group of folks for years now. And new people come and sometimes people stop or get sick or pass away. But it's a living ministry.
Anita: one thing that I learned from doing this in the past, was that you really needed the support of your administrative staff, your pastors, your lay ministers. So before I started, I explained this ministry to the pastor and to the staff because you really need their support in handing out shawls and dealing with requests, because sometimes the pastor is the only one who knows that somebody may need a shawl.
Barbara: Have you ever had a situation where there was just a need for privacy and you didn't really know why, but you just said, here you go, we're praying for you in everything, not really knowing?
Anita: in the other congregation I was in, we used to leave one prayer shawl on the back pew of the church. And then anybody could just take it if they needed to give one to somebody or if they needed one for themselves. So we didn't always know where they go.
Barbara: That's very generous. It's not transactional then- you're not saying, well, I'm sorry, you broke your leg, here's a shawl. It's “you take what you need. We want to give this to you.”
Anita: what some people fail to realize is the blessings the creators get in being able to make these for somebody else. The blessings come back a hundred times over.
Barbara: I know you have some stories for us today, Anita, and some of them are funny and some of them might make both of us cry, but I would love it if you wanted to share some stories about how you've seen God's grace in this ministry.
Anita: my first story is that when you were leading our Bible study, there were three of us in your Bible study who were in the prayer shawl ministry. One of the people who started it, her name was Marcia Bandaret, and she'd had a lot of gifts. She was a quilter and knitter in the past, but she hadn't knitted or crocheted in a very long time.
And she also did not drive. So she needed yarn and needles. And she gave money to her grandson who was about 12 at the time, and told him to buy needles and yarn for her to bring to our first meeting. Well, he picked out the color he loved, camouflage green, and brought it to her. And she's like, what am I going to do with camouflage green?
And she brought it to the meeting and she's like, I don't know what to do. Should I even start with this yarn? But my grandson was so excited about the color, and we all told her, just knit the Shawl. It will find the right place. So she knit her Shawl. And she was finished and all she kept saying was, I don't know who's going to want this color green.
I happened to be working with folding the bulletins with another member. And she's telling me about her brother who is very ill. He was a Vietnam veteran and he had cancer from agent orange and he had been in the army. And I said to her, would you like a prayer shawl for your brother? Oh yes, I would really like to give a prayer shawl to my brother. So we looked at the prayer shells we had
Barbara: and guess what?
Anita: army green, right? So she took that shawl for her brother. I cannot tell you the joy we all felt.
Barbara: That's God's mysterious ways right there. I love that story. The grandson and the grandma, and what's this army green business.
That's great. We do have a website to share with listeners right now, and then I'll also put it on the podcast website. There is a prayer shawl ministry for families of service members who have died, www.PS4FS.org (prayer shawls for families of service members).
Anita: one of my other stories is when I started this ministry, we had received a new pastor here and they were expecting their second baby, and our prayer shawl ministry was new and I was like, we need to do something for this pastor and his wife when they're expecting a new baby. And so we decided to all knit squares, and we knew the baby was going to be a boy. So we picked a blue yarn and we all use the same yarn and we all made squares the same size and everybody could pick to do the same square or different square, but each square have a little picture, like a duck or a rabbit.
Barbara: right into the wool or the yarn?
Anita: into the pattern.
Barbara: Wow.
Anita: And we stitched them together and then we had a little baby shower with the pastor and his wife and gave them the blanket. So that was our way of welcoming the new baby into our congregation.
Barbara: That is a really special gift. And I love the idea that typically it sounds like a shawl would be made just by one person because it's sort of a continuous work, but this is coming together. So a whole bunch of people made these squares to contribute. And then they were assembled sounds like a quilt prayer shawl.
Anita: it was a way to have everybody involved. And everybody got to contribute. And we have done that when we have some of our members have gotten sick during the years that we've existed. And sometimes we have knit a Shawl and each one doing one row or two rows on that shawl, so that we have all made a stitch in the shawl. So a shawl doesn't have to be just one person's work, it can be many people.
Barbara: It's special enough just having one person knit you a shawl, but to share it around, that's really lovely.
Anita: And when one of our first members, Marcia Bandaret, who made the camouflage, passed away, her family brought the knitting to the funeral home for the visitation, her basket of a shawl that she had started. And one of our members finished that shawl for her daughter, who had not received one. Sometimes you've finished somebody else's work.
Barbara: We've heard a few examples of different types of situations where you give the shawls. Have you ever had outside organizations that you go to, or that you've shared shawls with people there for different reasons?
Anita: Yes. So I've had hospice organizations contact our church and ask if we had anything we could donate. And when they ask, I give as many as I have to them. And that was one of my biggest fears when I started this prayer shawl ministry, would there be enough shawls? And there have always been enough shawls.
Barbara: You've got the loaves and the fishes going right there, Anita.
Anita: You worry about all kinds of things that you don't need to worry about.
Barbara: Well, that's probably the administrative side of our brains, like, on average we need X number of shawls per year. And one year you might need more, one year less, but then the workers come, and that's just amazing.
Anita: one of our members is very ill, and she knits prolifically. She probably brings me a Shawl or two every month. And it gives her great joy to be able to share that.
Barbara: how has the pandemic influenced the prayer shawl ministry?
Anita: we normally met once a month here in the sanctuary. But during the pandemic, when it first started, we chose not to meet for several months, but the group is very strongly connected. So we decided in the summer that we could meet outside and different people offered up their backyards and we met outside, safely distance with masks. We met into the fall in our winter coats, and then because the church wasn't being used and we're a small number of people, we're less than 10. We met in our fellowship hall, which is like a large gymnasium and we could open the windows and have the chairs very distant. But now that Massachusetts asked churches to come down to 25% capacity, we decided to take a break for the month of January. We'll reevaluate in February. If we can meet again. We e-mail each other and stay connected by phone calls.
Barbara: I suspect it's a blessing to be together in person, but I also am guessing that folks are still knitting away, even alone in their own homes. I know my mom used to knit while she watched TV and I was always amazed that she could watch the screen and stay fully engaged with whatever the show was. And her hands were just knitting away.
Anita: In November, we had the Shawls blessed during a worship service. Our numbers were down for attendance, but we still put the shawls out. And I filled up every third Pew in our sanctuary with shawls that had been donated over the pandemic, the Shawls just kept appearing.
Barbara: What a beautiful way to symbolize the social distancing space between pews anyway, and then something so precious there. And then having that blessing.
Anita: Yes. And our minister has been extremely supportive of the prayer shawl ministry. He comes to our meetings. He shares prayer concerns from the congregation. We mail cards to people and we, as the prayer shawl ministry, get to sign our names to these cards.
Barbara: I feel like I need to confess to you something, that my mind has really been changed. I am afraid to admit, I think when I was younger, it seemed to me like the ladies get together and probably drink coffee, I didn't understand that this is really spiritual work and maybe it's not the same every place, but this is just the best of everything combined- if you're talking about Bible verses, it might not be an official Bible study, but if you're sending cards, what an amazing ministry, that really is so much more than just getting together and drinking coffee, and you might not even want to have any beverages around when you're knitting. I'm not really sure, but I'm so glad to learn this from you. And to really honor, this is God's work you're all doing.
Anita: We have tried very hard to include some kind of Bible verse every month at our meeting to discuss, or some spiritual topic and to meet the spiritual needs of the members of the group.
Barbara: Do you ever hear back from people who have received prayer shawls? Because I am wondering if the recipients of the prayer shawls feel a connection with God through your hands? I know I have.
Anita: Yes, that was what was so exciting to me because I didn't expect to hear back from anybody. But recently one of our members gave a shawl to a friend who sent three handwritten thank you notes and made a donation to our prayer shawl ministry. I never expected three notes plus a donation. And we will use that donation to mail shawls to somebody else.
Barbara: everything is free. Like you said, nothing is for sale, but donations can be used. And I imagine most of you are just giving freely, you buy the wool or the yarn you pay for the postage. That's just a gift of love from your family, but it's nice to have an opportunity to maybe purchase extra materials or the shipping costs like you had mentioned. Thank you for using that money with good stewardship to further the ministry.
Anita: Thank you. And yes, we have received yarn donations. One of our members passed away and her family donated all her knitting, crocheting supplies to us. And then what we could not use, we passed on to other organizations that could use them.
Barbara: Another website that you had given me, Anita, is www.shawlministry.com . And they have a section with different prayers patterns, and then they also have a list of States and groups who are doing shawl ministry.
And there are resources if anyone is thinking about starting a prayer shawl ministry, or you want to see if there's one near you, even if you're not anywhere in Massachusetts, near Metro West. Are there any other resources that were helpful to you Anita, over the years with knitting in general or prayer shawl specifically?
Anita: Yes. So some of these cards for the shawls, you can just download from the internet too. You can check your different church denominations and see if they have anybody with experience doing shawls. Most denominations have somebody doing this work.
Barbara: the Lutherans may be known to be good hand crafters, but we don't have the corner on prayer shawl ministries. Everybody does. So if you do a search, you're bound to come up with something helpful.
Any other words of encouragement for listeners who may be thinking, I don't know how to knit or I'm not sure about doing this, finding the courage?
Anita: You know, you just have to start and don't get overwhelmed. Just start making a Shawl. It can be as simple as you like. The other thing I want to say that I almost forgot is that I try to make the shawls out of acrylic and not wool. Cause some people are allergic to wool or natural fibers. So just make a shawl. It doesn't matter if there's mistakes, it was made with love and you give it with love and that's what's important.
Barbara: Yes. That's really terrific encouragement. You don't have to know how to do the whole thing from the shawl to the ministry. Start. And I also am honestly, perfectly happy to get something that has a little bump in it.
I know I saw my mom just ripping out rows and rows and rows. And maybe if you're making a sweater with a complicated pattern, you don't want there to be a mistake, but I'm not checking my prayer shawl or worrying. I'm just grateful to have received a token of that love and care and prayer from people.
Anita: I did think of one more story. When I first started making prayer shawls, one of the first ones I made was for a minister who had to leave her congregation and go to another congregation. And I made her a Shaw and I did the church year colors in stripes. And then I thought, how can I make it from the whole congregation? Because I had moved away and I wanted to send it back to her, but I wanted it to be from the whole congregation. So I sent a large card and they could all sign the card. And I sent charms, like jewelry charms, and each person could tie on a charm for the shawl.
So they could tie on a bird, or cross, or praying hands. They all had a choice of a charm to tie on.
Barbara: And that's really creative too, because Lutherans and other liturgical denominations are known for having certain colors associated with parts of the church year.
Like right now behind you, there's white pieces of cloth in front of the alter, and those are called paraments, and banners are in front of the pulpit also. And so for a clergy person that would be very meaningful or maybe somebody on altar Guild, someone who understands, you're going to have a whole bunch of green and some blue and some red and some white, and I'm probably forgetting something, that's really amazing. So you can just use your imagination and get creative. And the charms show that other people cared and wanted to send their greetings and their blessings on the shell. That's really lovely. Thank you.
Anita: You're welcome.
Barbara: I just want to open it up in case there's anything else on your mind about prayer shawl ministries that you want to share?
Anita: if you feel called to do this, please start. I cannot tell you how appreciative the recipients are.
Barbara: So you don't have to be an expert. Listen to that tugging and just go ahead and start and who knows what's going to happen? Thank you so much for your time today, Anita. I really appreciate it.
Anita: Thank you for inviting me, Barbara.
Resources:
https://ps4fs.org prayer shawls for families of service members who have died
https://www.shawlministry.com prayers, patterns, list of states and groups doing shawl ministry
*tassles are referenced in Numbers 15:38
Anita shares God’s love through knitting prayer shawls